04/02/12
A bad notice
02/02/12
The most correct and effective order
you / taking / Would / mind / me / station / to / the ?
not just one, but 2 of my intermediate students produced the following answer:
Would you mind taking the station to me?
Which is unarguably more practical than:
Would you mind taking me to the station?
Matrix, let me reload it!
Damn me and when I want to be original! I've been thinking about this exercise for over a week now.
My line of thinking was:
- We are studying conditionals at the moment and one of the topics of the unit was: "What would you say if a friend offered you a cigarette?" Naturally the same applies to other substances...
- Besides I've recently implemented a new norm in the classroom concerning cell phone (they leave them on my desk on entering and collect them on leaving), and judging by their reactions (1. fidgeting 2. bad temper) they are all hooked to their smartphones.
I started with the simplest idea of using the pill scene in Matrix with a few changes to include more conditionals as fill in the gaps. I also wanted to add a 3rd character because I've got 9 students and that would make 3 nice groups of 3, with 1 girl in each.
This was the first draft:
Matrix: the pill scene
Morpheus is waiting by the window. Trinity brings Neo in.
morpheus
At last! Welcome Neo! As you may have guessed, I am Morpheus.
neo
(shaking hands)
It’s an honour to meet you.
morpheus
No, the honour is mine. Please, take a sit.
They all sit down.
morpheus
Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo
No, I don’t. If fate ruled(rule) my life, I wouldn’t be in control.
morpheus
I know exactly what you mean. But if it wasn’t (be) fate, what would bring (bring) you here?
neo
I don’t know… Trinity brought me.
trinity
If you didn’t have(not have) a special gift, you wouldn’t be here.
neo
What special gift?
trinity
Like a good hacker, when you see a rule, you would bend(bend) it.
morpheus
Exactly, if you play by the rules, the results are (be) predictable, which is what we need to avoid. But there is another reason why you’re here, Neo.
neo
If I wanted (want) to know what the Matrix is, would you be the right person to ask?
trinity
Morpheus has taught every one of us what the Matrix is. No one knows better than him.
morpheus
Unfortunately, that’s right. The Matrix is everywhere, it's all around us. You see (see) it if you look out of your window or if you watch your television. You feel (feel) it when you go to work, or go to church or pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
NEo
What truth?
trinity
That you are a slave Neo. That you were born into bondage, like everyone else... you are kept inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind.
morpheus
No one can be told what the Matrix is. If you want to see it for yourself, you’ll have (have) to make a decision.
Morpheus takes two pills out of the box.
morpheus
If you take the blue pill, the story will end (end)here. You’ll wake up (wake up) in your bed and you’ll believe (believe) whatever you want to believe. But if you take the red pill, you’ll stay (stay) in Wonderland and I’ll show (show) you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
trinity
If I were (be) you, I would take the red pill to know the truth.
Neo
What if I don’ (not like)the truth?
morpheus
I’m afraid, when you take the red pill, there is (be)no turning back.
trinity
You can be (be) free only if you know the truth, Neo.
Neo takes the red pill. Morpheus smiles and stands up.
MOrpheus
Follow me.
But then I thought: "Come on, this is too serious. Let's have some fun."
And Morpheus became a pusher, Trinity a latin girl who performs in clubs and chats up unexperienced boys just to take them to the pusher and get a share of the pills for free. The Matrix is a kind of extasy. Neo naturally doesn't have a clue what is going on, the only thing he gets is they want his Blackberry in payment, and that's the only reason why he turns the pill down.
This is the final draft my students will see tomorrow, after duly completing the gaps in the first script.
I had forgotten how much fun I used to have writing scripts!
Matrix: the pill scene
Morpheus is waiting by the window. Trinity brings Neo in.
morpheus
At last! I’ve been waiting for ages! Where have you been?
TRINITY
Come on, Morphy, don’t bug me! You know, this guy was hard to chat up.
morpheus
María de los Remedios de la Santísima Trinidad, if you call me Morphy again, not only I’ll use your full name, but you’ll never see another of my red pills in your life.
trinity
You are such a bore sometimes…
NEO
Ehm, I’m Neo, nice to meet you.
Morpheus
I know, it’s an honour to meet me, Morpheus, the King of Pills. How are you doing? Take a sit.
They all sit down. Morpheus plays with a pill box. Neo is uncomfortable and starts fidgeting with his Blackberry.
morpheus
Do you believe in chance, Neo?
Neo
No, I don’t. Whenever I have I good chance, I miss it.
morpheus
But if it wasn’t chance, what would bring you here?
neo
I don’t know… Trinity brought me.
trinity
Boss, you know I don’t take chances, unless I have it all worked out.
neo
What do you mean?! Take a chance on me?!
trinity
No, not at all! Do I look Abba enough? I mean.. worked out, calculated, I love Maths! Yeah, you know what? Morphy here was a Maths teacher before. But he quit because…
morpheus
What my friend María de los Remedios de la Santísima Trinidad means is that a performer like her is fascinated by anything scientific. Actually, I used to be an Algebra wizard.
neo
I see, so if I wanted to know what a Matrix is, would you be the right person to ask?
trinity
(giggling)
Morpheus has taught every one of us what a Matrix is.
morpheus
That’s right. Imagine: you could see a Matrix anywhere. You could see one if you look out of your window or if you watch your television. You could feel it when you go to work, or go to church or pay your taxes. Amazing, isn’t it?
neo
Why? If a Matrix is just a sequence of numbers, I only need a piece of paper and a pencil.
morpheus
(laughing)
My dear Neo, I could offer you much more than that, if you wanted to see one of my Matrices!
NEo
What Matrices?
morpheus
Don’t you ever feel that you are a slave, Neo? That you are the gadget and your Blackberry is your master? You are being played.
trinity
I’ve noticed that if you are nervous you play with it, that you keep checking your mail even if there is no reception…
morpheus
No one can be told what my Matrix is. If you want to see it for yourself, you’ll have to make a decision.
Morpheus takes two pills out of the box and shows them to Neo.
morpheus
If you take the blue pill, the story will end here. You’ll wake up in your bed with a terrible hangover and you’ll believe whatever you want to believe. But if you take the red pill, you’ll visit my own Wonderland and I’ll show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
trinity
If I were you, I would take the red pill. Such a trip you’ll never forget!
Neo
How much is the red pill?
morpheus
Your freedom… your Blackberry.
trinity
You can be free only if you leave your Blackberry, Neo.
Neo thinks about the offer, looks at his mobile phone and stands up.
neo
I’ll never leave my Blackberry.